I Don't Know If That Makes Me Happy Or Sad.

It's kind of funny how sure I was.
It had been months and we'd spoken here and there, just keeping up with each other.
Did I notice any sort of change on her part? Kind of, but not enough for me to really pick up on the trouble.
She's done. She doesn't like to think about me anymore. She doesn't want to talk to me if it's just shooting the breeze.
She wants there to be a reason for us to talk.
But isn't me just wanting to talk enough of a reason?
All the things that go into making a conversation (worthwhile or not).
I didn't know any of this until I saw her recently.
I was even too shy to say hi. Isn't that weird?
You know a person inside and out.
Secrets, things that make her laugh, things that make her annoyed, things that make her cry, etc.
I was put to the list of things she needs space from.
I was struck at the dichotomy of who I'd been to who I am now.
I started analyzing why I haven't been happy.
It boiled down to her, essentially.
With everything I've seen since then, ripping at my skin like a bird trying to perch on a twig.
The strange truth is she's always been right.
It seems to be a tendency of mine to ignore anything that is logical when I'm in a moment, for however long that moment lasts.
Would I be happier if I was with her still?
I haven't really noticed anyone worth while all year since we stopped talking.
I know I will, cause that's just life but, is it so out of the ordinary that I'm convinced she's the most perfect person for me?
She's the last one I was with, that counts for something.
I don't know if that makes me happy or sad.