These Quiet Nights With You.

It happened the night of graduation.
I had went out to eat with family, then I went to a party.
I told myself it was now or never.
I walked away from the crowd, sat on the curb, and called her.
She didn't say anything at first other than "Hi, we just got back from grocery shopping."
I almost couldn't say it, despite the fact she knew something was going to happen (and not for the better).
I think one of the reasons that lead me to do it was a fear of me being the one left.
It's typically how it goes for me. I don't mean to sound like a sob story, but I never seem to notice anythings wrong until after it's all done and I evaluate what happened.

I had to walk home after the party.
It was about 1 in the morning and I passed my friend's house on the walk.
I called him as I kept walking and told him what happened.
I told him I did it but it didn't feel better. If anything, it felt worse.
He's still my friend. He's got his own problems to work out, but he's still my friend.

I remember running every few minutes down the blocks for whatever reason.
I wasn't drunk and I wasn't high, though I'm sure (in my efforts) a person might assume I was.

I had debating ending the relationship for a while, but I think that was a mistake.
And though people tried to make me feel better about the decision, I don't think they understand the kind of relationship I had with her. Isn't that important to know before giving feedback? But that's just friends being friends.
I think if anything, we evened each other out.
Isn't that what a relationship should do? Make both people involved calm and collected and share the same feelings for a good portion of the time.
But I guess towards the end, if I wasn't the one to leave, she'd have been the one to leave me cause I was starting to take on a new persona, the one I have now.